Hypnotised by the Hypogeum and chasing fetta in Valletta

Today we visit the Hypogeum. So it turns out there was this Malteser who decided to dig a new dunny in his backyard and while excavating his longdrop he chanced upon a burial chamber; being of a suspicious nature and suspecting foul play he notified the local constabulary who, after rooting around, discovered the remains of 7000 bodies;they surmised there must have been a serious serial killer active in the area but this idea was shot out of the water when it became apparent that the remains were about 3000 years old. Theories exploded regarding the origin of these bones: most likely, for me, being the work of half human, half dolphin aliens.

The current theory is that this was the burial site of some neolithic tribe from Sicily, probably Mafiosi, who needed a place to dispose of their rivals. Anyway it was a very impressive piece of old time architecture hewn out of solid rock.

Interpol are still investigating!

We then discover the Chinese Garden which is a relic of the time when Malta was ruled by China during the cultural revolution.

We then bus back into the heart of central Valletta to meet our guide for the Valletta tour.

It turns out that in 1565, the Turkish sultan,Suleiman the Magnificent, sick of eating kebabs and Turkish Delight all his life,got wind of a rumour that the Knights of St John in Malta had the secret recipe for the legendary Malteser and the Choclo Malta milkshake. He sent over a mighty armarda but the Knights spurred on by the legendary pastry chef, Jean De La Vallette, defeated the hapless Turks and sent them scurrying back to Constantinople where Suleiman spent the rest of his reign eating flatbread and a selection of dips; he later tried to attack Vienna in order to obtain the recipe for apple strudel and schnitzel but also was soundly thrashed there.

As part of our tour we observe the Fort St Angelo, from where Vallette would fire off cannonballs disguised as giant cous cous to taunt his enemy.