Frank and Robyn get away in 22

 This morning we dine on a typical Viennese breakfast of whole boiled dolphin served with a side dish of 1 blueberry. We wander aimlessly the backstreets of Vienna  and then it is off to Vienna airport to fly to Doha and an overnight stay with desert tour in the morning.

 Today we visit the suppository of the crown jewels. One thing you could say about those Habsburgers(with the lot) was they did like a bit of bling and weren't shy about showing it off Built for style but not for comfort Incidentally, schnitzel tip of the day: after cooking place on a chair and then sit down on it for 1 second; upon arising there should be no grease stain on your trousers, if there is just throw the schnitzel in the bin. Lunch today comes from a sausage stand followed by a piece of sacher torte One thing you can say about Austrian cuisine is not is it only delicious but it also extremely healthy-extra statin before bedtime tonight. In the evening we have tickets for Die Fledermaus at the Volksoper, a very jolly operetta extolling the virtues of infidelity and lust.

 We rise for our traditional Viennese breakfast of a haunch of venison, boiled overnight in its own blood, served with a raspberry. We stroll aimlessly through the city picking up nick nacks along the way and then it is time for lunch. I have heard good stories about the cafeteria on top of the justice ministry building but first we have to pass through security check which turns out to be like Israeli security on steroids. Everything in my backpack is opened and questioned-they are particularly impressed when they find a kitchen knife which we recently purchased and was immediately confiscated(it was returned on departing) and wenhad to wera N95 masks! The cafeteria was full of well healed members of the legal fraternity who looked upon as if we were escaped felons. Anyway the lunch was fine and the views were memorable. A bit more shopping and then a rest before our blow out dinner at Meissl & Schaden, the schnitzel specialists. Dish of the trip

 Today we are on our own without the help(or expense) of Ami. We are booked in to see Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum. We catch the tram and walk; the weather is suitably gloomy for such an activity. With our spirits in the gutter we make our way to the market for a shawarma lunch, which was fine. Taxi to airport where we go through so many security checks that our heads spin and then onto our Ryanair flight to Vienna, arriving exhausted after midnight.

 We have one day with Ami to see all Jerusalem has to offer. Ami's favouritye phrase, which he repeats ad nauseam is: "Frunk, give me your card" as he scoffs all sorts of gourmet foods. Our first stop is the dome of the rock, much disputed by your Jew, your Christian and your Muslim-currently the area is being run by your Muslim. Upon arrival we nearly cause an international incident when the bare shoulder police spot my beloved and are sent into paroxysms of fury and indignation and this gross effrontery to their religion-after quickly covering up the offending shoulders we are allowed to move on and they can go back to watching porn. Don't fuck with me unless you want an Uzi up your clacker Note holy spirit descending onto the righteous We then visit the adjacent market place and do the stations of the cross, which is a right laugh. Ami likes to stop and tell us little snippets like"just 2 days ago a policeman was stabbed right where you are standing and 3 loca